


Selfish Devotion

by Irhaboggles



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Analysis, Dark, Execution, Maid, One Shot, Selfish, Selfless, V3 - Freeform, angsty, ultimate maid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggles/pseuds/Irhaboggles
Summary: Kirumi lived by a moral code of selfless devotion, but was she REALLY that selfless? Or was it just selfishness in disguise? Because she was so incapable of taking orders. Despite all the requests she'd fulfilled, she HATED being told what to think or do if it went against her principles. She would call the others stubborn, but in some ways, she was the worst of all.
Kudos: 6





	Selfish Devotion

The thing Kirumi was best known for was her selfless devotion. Not only did she talk about it almost constantly, but she actually managed to live up to it. Her honor code was reflected by her actions just as much as it was by her words. But upon closer inspection, was her code _really_ all that selfless? Or was it just selfishness in disguise? The ongoing trial seemed to support the latter idea, no matter how insane it seemed. As stories, lies, alibis and testimonies unraveled, Shuichi led them all closer and closer to the truth, and in doing so, he led them all closer and closer to Kirumi.

Something flickered behind her eyes as she met Shuichi's. Even though she'd managed to remain mostly calm, a few of the sharper students were able to sense something… _more_ rippling just below the surface. It was like a sinister undertow growing stronger and stronger with each passing second. She looked, angry, impatient, hungry and _restless_. Gone was the sweet and gentle maid they used to know and love. All that remained was a cold, petty monster, impatient and defensive. She was aggressive, and ready to _strike_.

But it was a logical descent if the theory about Kirumi's selfless devotion was true. Although she'd done many good deeds in the past, the students were beginning to wonder if there hadn't been an ulterior motive there from the start. They didn't necessarily think Kirumi had only been kind to avoid suspicion, but rather, that she was _so_ dependent on the validation of others, and the idea of being in control, that _not_ serving everyone to the best of her abilities was a concept she literally could not fathom.

It _did_ explain why her selfless devotion was so intense. Because it was literally her life. She _had_ to be like this in order to feel fulfilled, and she literally had no idea how to live any other way. There was nothing wrong with feeling good about doing good, but the level to which she took it was beyond normal. In some cases, it _was_ almost a selfish level of selflessness, because she would barge in everyone's faces and demand chores from them even if they'd explicitly asked her to leave them be. As submissive as Kirumi seemed, she was actually quite dominant. She didn't take no for an answer. She may have fulfilled many requests in her day, but only at her own discretion. And she would demand them constantly.

But that was why she liked being a maid. The power. Even though being a maid might've seemed like a subservient and less powerful position, the way Kirumi saw it, her job required her to be good at _everything_. That certainly was not powerless. And in her mind, if someone was asking _her_ for help, even if she was technically in the lower position as the helper, she still had some level of power _over_ her client since _they_ were the ones asking for things from _her_. To her, it was an implicit admission that she was superior. And she liked that feeling of being in control. Of being the eye in the sky, the caretaker and leader. Of doing everything herself so that she knew it would be done right.

It was also why she would gladly listen to the troubles and vulnerabilities of others while never revealing any of her own. It wasn't just that she considered herself a confidante and a shoulder to cry on, it was that knowledge was power. To have knowledge of the weakness of others was power, even if one never used that knowledge for malicious reasons. And by the same token, to reveal one's insecurities and weaknesses was a surrender. A loss of control and power. And Kirumi never surrendered. Ever.

Sure, at first, it had been nice to see Kirumi taking so much initiative, but after a while, it became a little troubling. And it wasn't just the fear of betrayal, that Kirumi was too good to be true. Instead, it was more of a fear of someone who was _so_ controlling that they were unable to _truly_ listen to the desires of others. After all, hadn't several students tried to get Kirumi to ease up on all the maid stuff? That never worked.

In some ways, Kirumi _despised_ being told what to do or think or say or feel. She would never allow anyone to challenge her principles. In a painful irony, it was the very same thing she would accuse Shuichi of during the trial.

"All you care about is your _own_ reasoning! You don't even _listen_ to others!" she snarled.

And even when she was no longer able to come up with _logical_ rebuttals, she still didn't stop. Instead, she resorted to petty insults and low blows. It seemed very out-of-character for someone so regal and dignified, but upon closer inspection, maybe it made perfect sense after all. Maybe _this_ was the _real_ Kirumi Tojo, vicious and conniving, and the maid had only been a shell that the real one had needed to break free from.

"I can't bet everyone's lives on a deduction made by a self-righteous _brat_!" she shrieked, genuinely blind to the hypocrisy in her statement.

To the especially observant, like Shuichi, they could detect Kirumi's very speech patterns changing. On top of regressing to cheap shots, her vocal pitch was rising and her voice was becoming coarser and louder. She'd also lost all previous formalities, using contractions and unprofessional vernacular.

"Y-yeah? So what?" she demanded at one point. That was the best she could come up with. And no one missed the stutter on the first word.

It felt foreign to see a more childish side to such an otherwise mature young woman, but it made sense. As adult as Kirumi liked to act, she was still only a high schooler. No one her age "had it all figured out". Even if Kirumi had, for the most part, been ahead of the curve, she was still just a child. Now her "younger" side was slipping out in her growing defensiveness.

"You're still wrong! Your logic is flawed!" she shouted. This was not the first time she'd made this accusation, but despite lacking any proof to back up her claim, she continued to make it. But each time she tried to discredit the detective, it only drove the nail deeper into her own coffin. She was so overwhelmed by her loss of power and control that she was making a lot of mistakes that she could've otherwise overcome if she hadn't been so flustered and frustrated. She was so desperate to win back her influence that she kept rushing in without thinking first.

But she was determined never to confess or yield. Even when she'd been beaten, she refused to quit. It was stupid and selfish to remain locked in such deep denial, but she was stubborn. Even after the trial was done, Kirumi still was not. She voted for Shuichi purely out of spite, but rather than go with grace, she tried to go down swinging. No point in surrendering either way. She'd either win, or lose, but make a statement in the process. Sure, people could choose to _ignore_ it, but Kirumi was too petty to care. All that mattered was retaining some modicum of control, even if it was only the power to decide whether she'd be petty or gracious.

Even in her final moments, she continued to fight. She almost successfully manipulated at least a handful of the students into vouching for her, even after everything else that had already transpired. And it was all just because she was so eerily good at reading people. It was a mix of her unique skill set and her ability to analyze everyone else's potential weak spots. She knew her attempt to play the victim would work, and it did.

Mostly. But a few students saw right through Kirumi's trick and were quick to call her out on it. But even then, Kirumi wasn't done. Instead, she turned into that feral monster one last time, aggressive and callous, caring about nobody else's feelings except her own.

"I have to escape! I won't die here! I will live! I refuse to die in a hellhole like this! For my nation! For my people! I WILL NOT DIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

But Monokuma hadn't been kidding when he'd said that he'd prepared an _extra special_ punishment for the Ultimate Maid. After all, what would be more painful to someone like her than the complete and utter loss of power and control? Every trait she'd ever had, good or bad, had all been created around this core value of control. To longer be in charge or in power, to no longer be a maid, overseer, caretaker, prime minister, or even _mother figure_ was the ultimate punishment for Kirumi. And Monokuma was going to take full advantage.

But wasn't that fitting? This was a woman whose selfish devotion was so strong that she never once stopped to check whether or not her worldviews were actually right and good. To be subject to a Danganronpa execution would highlight all of Kirumi's worst mistakes and flaws, and that was exactly what made it so personal, horrific and effective. Wasn't it just poetic justice to watch Kirumi dig herself a deeper grave? To be stripped of _all_ her power because she was never willing to give up even an inch of her own volition?

The entire execution was nothing but a back-and-forth of power and the lack thereof. It was a constant case of hope spots, things seeming at their bleakest only for Kirumi to find a ray of hope only to then get sucked right back into something even worse. First it was the angry mob, then climbing the thorny vine, then surviving a gauntlet of buzzsaws, then realizing that the escape she _thought_ she'd seen had only been an illusion.

Never once did she surrender, trying her best to find any sense of control that she could, but to realize that all her suffering had been fruitless even from the start was what truly and finally broke her completely. The game had been over long before she'd started playing and she'd never been in control at all. It had _all_ been an illusion from the start.

And then, literally and metaphorically, she had it all pulled out from underneath her again, one last time. To add the ultimate insult to injury, the vine she'd been climbing finally snapped and took her down in a deadly freefall. She had no say in whether or not she would live or die. She had no power to control her destiny. Not anymore. And to anyone who'd ever been stuck in a freefall before, they knew that during the fall, there was only one thing anyone could do: surrender.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I apologize that this fic seems so anti-Kirumi, I just really wanted to explore this side of her character and I apologize if it came off as too cruel in the process. I really do love her tho!
> 
> (nervous laugh)
> 
> Anyway, I hope yall found it at least interesting, if not necessarily entertaining, LOL! Thx for reading!
> 
> Sidenote: This also suggests that Kirumi's pre-game personality was far more volatile, violent and selfish than what Tsumugi turned her into. Does anyone agree? Disagree? I wanna hear your thoughts!


End file.
